Your cat now refuses to be called a "pet" and demands the status of "independent feline worker"? They think your flat should be collectivised and talk more about class struggle than kibble? It might be time to face reality: your cat is a leftie. Before they unionise the local pigeons or organise a general strike against automatic pate dispensers, let's examine the most common symptoms of this feline radicalisation.

6 Signs Your Cat Has Gone Full Leftie

All cats like to challenge authority. But some turn it into a whole social project.

1. They've Declared Your Lounge Room a "Protected Zone"

You just wanted to set up a new vacuum cleaner. Your cat saw it as a direct attack on their way of life. A few hours later, the lounge room was barricaded with:

• cardboard boxes,
• cushions,
• a threadbare blanket,
• and a sign reading:

"NO TO CARPET GENTRIFICATION." Since then, every attempt at cleaning is labelled repression.

2. They Hate Pedigree Cats

Your cat can no longer stand Siamese, Persian or Bengal cats. According to them, they're simply: "privileged cats out of touch with life on the ground." They now refuse to hang out with the neighbour's Maine Coon, whom they accuse of hoarding excessive furry capital.

3. They've Replaced All the Household Symbols

Your decor has mysteriously changed. The Australian flag has disappeared. In its place are now several multicoloured banners representing causes even your cat sometimes struggles to explain. When you ask what they mean, they usually reply: "It's more complicated than that." And refuse to elaborate.

4. They Love Every Cause… Except When It Involves Their Own Bowl

Your cat is actively campaigning against:

• intensive farming,
• overconsumption,
• animal exploitation,
• and the excesses of productivism.

Yet they still demand imported salmon and premium chicken. The moment you point out the contradiction, they immediately change the subject.

5. Documentaries Have Become Their Religion

Every evening, your cat watches three hour long documentaries about:

• geopolitics,
• the climate crisis,
• global inequality,
• or the history of social movements around the world.

Always with a glass of sulphite free organic wine in hand. They sigh enormously.

6. Everything Is Always "the System's" Fault

Their bowl is empty? The system. It's raining? The system. A fly gets away from them? The system. You moved their cushion? The system, again. At this point, even gravity seems to be a social construct responsible for their problems.

How Do You React If Your Cat Is a Leftie?

Thankfully, a few solutions still exist.

Confront Them with Their Contradictions

Your cat wants to abolish intensive fishing but demands Norwegian salmon morning and night? Calmly ask the question. You probably won't get a clear answer, but watching them squirm is deeply satisfying.

Send Them into Hostile Territory

An extended stay in a very wealthy suburb can produce interesting results. After a few weeks surrounded by jumpers tied over the shoulders and conversations about investment properties, they might start finding some of these ideas "not so absurd after all."

Turn Their Own Methods Against Them

At the slightest awkward phrasing, draft an official statement detailing their daily microaggressions:

• discrimination against dogs,
• stigmatisation of vacuum cleaners,
• offensive remarks towards pigeons.

The activist will get a taste of their own medicine.

Distract Them with More Feline Activities

Try:

• a foam ball,
• a laser pointer,
• a cardboard box,
• or a window looking out onto some birds.

Even the most committed revolutionaries remain vulnerable to a good distraction.

Conclusion: An Activist Who's Mostly Just Tired

The problem with your cat is that they now protest absolutely everywhere. Yesterday, it was a climate march. Today, it's a different cause. Tomorrow, probably a third one. By this point, they don't even check where they're going anymore. Last week, they ended up in the middle of a young conservative Christian rally without even realising it. They stood out slightly with their blue hair, their "ACAB" t-shirt and their sign reading "Love Wins!" But deep down, that pretty much sums up the situation. Your cat is genuinely committed. Just not always very organised. And if you love absurd portraits of politically engaged cats, completely contradictory and deeply convinced they're right, What To Do If My Cat Is a Leftie? and its sequels should quickly find their place on your bedside table.