Your cat snubs the females and won't stop banging on about their "mate Davo"? Discover the telltale signs and how to support your gay cat with humour and kindness. You've had that little suspicion, haven't you? The cat who, instead of chasing the mouse, spends their days staring intensely at the big buff tomcat from down the street? Or the one who, instead of purring when you walk in, silently judges your outfit? Here are the telltale signs that confirm your whiskered companion's sexual orientation.

The 5 Signs Your Cat Is Gay

If your cat displays several of these behaviours, it's time to pull back the curtain on their love life:

1. The "admiring" stare: They purr a little too much while staring at the buff tomcat across the road, as if mesmerised by their physique.
2. The nightlife: They love dishing out gossip with their girlfriends (or boyfriends) over a Malibu Sunrise, usually in the lounge room at 11pm.
3. The fashion sense: They silently judge you when your jumper clashes with your pants. Aesthetics first.
4. The modern lingo: They drop a "SLAY!" for absolutely everything. Clearly across all the trends.
5. The "just flatmates" myth: All they talk about is their mate Davo, insisting a bit too much that they're "just flatmates." (Yeah, Davo, we know.)

How Should You React If Your Cat Is Gay?

Step one: Breathe. This might seem like a touchy subject, but accepting your cat for who they are is loving them fully. Here are a few tips to support them through this discovery:

• Encourage them to be themselves: Whatever you do, don't try to push them towards a female cat. They've already got their eye on another tom, and there's nothing wrong with that. Love isn't something you explain, it's something you feel.
• Protect them from gossip: Some cats can be judgemental. Be there for them, like a caring parent.
• Avoid the cliches: Not every gay cat is obsessed with Drag Race or a whiz at interior design. Give them the space to be themselves.
• Show them support: Speak to them gently, even if they don't understand the words. They'll understand the intention.
• Avoid the awkward questions: You don't need to know who does what and how. Privacy is sacred.

Conclusion: Love Is What Matters Most

Accepting your cat means accepting their happiness above all. It doesn't matter who they lick or who they share a bed with, what matters is that they're happy and safe. Their sexual orientation shouldn't be a cause for concern, but rather an excuse to treat them to a brighter new wardrobe (and maybe something a little more Davo). To find out more about the other facets of your cat's life (the internet, work, identity crises, health), and for even funnier advice, order What To Do If My Cat Is Gay? and its sequels today.