Your dog snubs the female dogs and won’t shut up about his “mate Dave”? Discover the unmistakable signs and how to support your gay dog with humour and heart. You’ve had that little niggle of doubt, haven’t you? The dog who, instead of chasing a ball, spends their days staring intensely at the big buff mastiff down the road? Or the one who, instead of losing their mind with joy when you walk in the door, silently judges your outfit? Here are the unmistakable signs to confirm your furry mate’s sexual orientation.

The 5 Signs Your Dog Is Gay

If your dog is showing several of these behaviours, it’s time to lift the lid on their love life: The “admiring” look: They wag their tail a little too enthusiastically while staring at the buff mastiff across the road, as if mesmerised by his physique. The nightlife: They love dishing out gossip with their girlfriends (or boyfriends) over a Malibu Sunrise, usually in the lounge room at 11pm. The fashion sense: They silently judge you when your jumper clashes with your trackies. Aesthetics first. The modern lingo: They drop a “SLAY!” for absolutely everything. Clearly across all the trends. The “just roommates” myth: All they talk about is their mate Dave, insisting a little too hard that they’re “just flatmates”. (Yeah, Dave. We know.)

How to React If Your Dog Is Gay

Step one: Breathe. It might feel like a taboo topic, but accepting your dog exactly as they are is what loving them properly looks like. Here’s how to support them through this discovery: Encourage them to be themselves: Whatever you do, don’t try to push them towards a female dog. They’ve already got their eye on another male, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Love doesn’t need explaining, it just needs feeling. Shield them from gossip: Some dogs can be nasty. Be there for them, like a loving parent. Avoid the clichés: Not every gay dog is obsessed with RuPaul’s Drag Race or a whiz at interior design. Give them the space to be themselves. Show them support: Speak to them gently, even if they don’t understand the words. They’ll understand the intention. Skip the awkward questions: Who does what and how isn’t really your business. Privacy is sacred.

Conclusion: What Matters Is Love

Accepting your dog means accepting their happiness above all. It doesn’t matter who they lick or who they share the bed with, what matters is that they’re happy and safe. Their sexual orientation shouldn’t be a source of worry, just an excuse to buy them a brighter new wardrobe (and maybe something a little more Dave). To learn more about the other sides of your dog’s life (the internet, work, identity crises, health), and for even funnier advice, order What To Do If My Dog Is Gay? and the rest of the series now.