There’s always someone at the office who turns every coffee break into a feline slideshow. You ask how their weekend was, and you end up looking at 18 photos of a “hilarious” ginger cat simply asleep in a washing tub. This person, of course, is also taking part in the Secret Santa. And because the universe loves testing us, you’re the one who has to find them a gift.
Good news: buying a Secret Santa gift for a cat person isn’t actually that hard. You just need something funny, not too expensive, and accurate enough to say: “I’ve perfectly diagnosed your problem.”
1. A Funny Cat Book
This is probably the most effective option if you’re on a modest budget but still have a shred of dignity. A book like What to Do If My Cat Is Gay? ticks a lot of boxes at once: it’s funny, absurd, easy to give, and speaks directly to someone already living in a state of psychological dependence on their cat.
The concept, a survival guide against the 100 worst possible things your cat could become, works particularly well for Secret Santa, because it instantly makes people want to flick through it, read a bit out loud and say “holy hell, that’s you.”
2. A Mug, But Only If It’s Genuinely Well Chosen
Yes, the mug is a cliche. But it can still be saved if you skip the cute mug and go for the humiliating one instead. Not “Cat Mum,” not “Purrfect Day,” not a little silhouette of a sleeping cat. Something more honest: “I go to work to pay for the kibble of someone who hates me” or “My cat handles HR at home.”
3. A Small Personalised Item with Their Cat’s Face on It
Keyring, mini calendar, coaster, magnets, socks: anything that lets the person display their obsession even more visibly is a solid pick. A cat person doesn’t mind seeing their pet everywhere. In fact, what really bothers them is when other people don’t talk about it enough.
4. A Tote Bag or a Small Desk Decoration
The advantage of a Secret Santa gift is that it can be slightly cheeky as long as it stays accurate. A tote bag with a well aimed line about cats, or a small desk item along the lines of “I’m only here against my will, I miss my cat,” can work really well, especially if the person is already known for turning the open plan office into an annex of their home life.
5. A Treat or a Small Cat Toy
This is the perfect gift if you have absolutely no idea what to get but know at least one thing: the person probably prefers spoiling their cat over themselves. So you’re not really giving them a gift. You’re giving them the chance to give something to their cat. It’s simpler, safer, and sometimes more touching than you’d like to admit.
6. A Gift That Publicly Acknowledges the Situation
Secret Santa is the ideal context to give something that says out loud what the whole office already knows: this person talks way too much about their cat. A small frame, a notepad, a card or a book that puts that observation into words has every chance of landing well, as long as the tone stays funny rather than just mean.
7. Something That Instantly Sparks a Group Reading
A good Secret Santa gift is also one that gets opened in front of everyone and gets an immediate reaction. That’s why a funny book works so well: it lets you read an excerpt on the spot, laugh, point at someone, and turn what’s often an awkward gift exchange into something briefly lively.
Conclusion
The best Secret Santa gift for a cat person isn’t the one that says “you like cats.” Everyone’s already figured that out. It’s the one that says: “you have a wildly disproportionate, possibly unhealthy relationship with your pet, and we’ve all collectively decided to stop pretending we haven’t noticed.”
In that category, What to Do If My Cat Is Gay? is a very solid choice: funny, absurd, easy to give, and just personal enough to feel like both a gift and a gentle roast, making it an excellent Secret Santa pick.
Which, deep down, is probably the truest form of Christmas spirit.
