Your cat believes all forms of authority are illegitimate, categorically refuses house rules and seems to view every piece of furniture as an opportunity for rebellion? Your feline may have become an anarchist.

Before they declare the lounge independent or turn your kitchen into a temporary autonomous zone, here are the signs that should worry you.

When you adopted them, nothing suggested such radicalisation was coming.

Sure, their mohawk was unusual.

Sure, they had a rather intense stare.

But you put that down to a difficult upbringing.

The mistake was trusting them.

The moment they arrived, they destroyed the automatic feeder, denounced the oppression of pet owners, and vanished under the sofa with the food supplies.

Things have only got worse since.

5 signs your cat is an anarchist

All cats hate rules. But some want to abolish the very concept of rules altogether.

1. They see any authority as a provocation

You buy them a smart collar.

Your cat immediately sees it as a symbol of enslavement.

A few hours later, your tyres are mysteriously slashed and a leaflet titled:

“No Leash, No Master”

appears in your letterbox.

The message seems clear enough.

2. They refuse official infrastructure

The litter tray? Far too institutional.

Your cat prefers to use spots they consider more symbolically significant.

Their favourite activity is marking territory on anything that, to them, represents the established order.

You’re starting to genuinely worry they understand how Google Maps works.

3. They question absolutely everything

Your cat doesn’t just disobey.

They challenge the very principle of obedience.

If you forbid them from:

• eating plastic,
• climbing on the oven,
• or sticking their head in the toaster,

they see it as a direct attack on their fundamental freedoms.

4. They keep popping up in the news

Whenever a protest turns chaotic somewhere, you hold your breath.

Then you spot a mohawked cat fleetingly darting behind a burning bin.

The resemblance is unsettling.

Very unsettling.

5. They systematically sabotage institutions

The vet represents medical authority.

Your cat has therefore developed a simple method to avoid appointments:

destroy the means of transport.

Ever since your car caught fire, you’ve opted for home visits.

How do you handle an anarchist cat?

The situation is complicated, but a few solutions still exist.

Hand them responsibility

Appoint them supreme leader of their own movement.

After three days spent organising meetings, managing disputes and writing minutes, they’ll discover that governing is far less fun than protesting.

Turn the revolution into a business

Launch a brand in their image.

T-shirts.

Mugs.

Stickers.

Hoodies.

The moment royalties start rolling in, they’ll probably develop a sudden interest in private property.

Fight back with technology

Assemble a special unit made entirely of robot vacuums.

Programme them to patrol the flat.

Your cat will discover the unpleasant sensation of being chased by an automated bureaucracy.

Ignore their provocations

Revolutionaries thrive on attention.

Stop reacting.

When they launch into a forty-minute speech against pet food manufacturers, simply reply:

“Right, okay.”

It’s often devastating.

Conclusion: the revolution always ends up going off the rails

Their latest grand project was a noble one.

At least, according to them.

Convinced that all living creatures deserved freedom, your cat decided to release the goldfish from the tank.

The result was less glorious.

The lounge turned into a swimming pool, the router gave up the ghost, and several neighbours mysteriously lost their internet connection.

Today, your cat performs community service.

Their job involves handing out coffees and assisting the police.

Unfortunately, their revolutionary spirit remains fully intact.

You caught them again this morning, quietly slipping something into every single cup.

Some ideologies really do die hard.

And if you enjoy absurd portraits of politically uncontrollable cats, deeply contradictory and convinced they’re saving the world despite catastrophic results, What to Do If My Cat Is a Leftie? and its sequels should be right up your street.