There’s always someone at work who turns every coffee break into a feline slideshow. You ask how their weekend was, and somehow end up looking at 18 photos of a ginger cat “too funny”, simply asleep in a washing-up bowl. This person, naturally, is also doing Secret Santa. And since the universe loves a challenge, you’re the one who has to find them a gift.
Good news: buying a Secret Santa gift for a cat fan isn’t actually that complicated. You just need something funny, not too pricey, and precise enough to say: “I’ve perfectly identified your problem.”
1. A funny book about cats
Probably the most effective option if you’re working with a modest budget but a bit of dignity. A book like What to Do If My Cat Is Gay? ticks a lot of boxes at once: it’s funny, absurd, easy to give, and above all speaks directly to someone already living in a state of psychological dependency on their cat.
The concept — a survival guide to the 100 worst possible things your cat could become — works especially well for Secret Santa, because it immediately makes you want to flick through, read a passage aloud, and say “bloody hell, this is literally you”.
2. A mug, but only if it’s genuinely well chosen
Yes, the mug is a cliché. But it can still be saved if you steer clear of the cute mug and go straight for the humiliating one. Not “Cat Mum”, not “Purrfect Day”, not a little silhouette of a sleeping cat. Something more honest: “I work to pay for the kibble of someone who hates me” or “My cat runs HR at home”.
3. A small personalised accessory featuring their cat’s face
Keyring, mini calendar, coaster, magnets, socks: anything that lets the person display their obsession even more visibly is a solid bet. A cat fan doesn’t mind seeing their pet everywhere. Quite the opposite: they mostly suffer when other people don’t talk about it enough.
4. A tote bag or a small desk decoration
The advantage of a Secret Santa gift is that it can be gently mocking as long as it’s accurate. A tote bag with a sharp one-liner about cats, or a small desk object along the lines of “I’m here against my will, I miss my cat”, can work brilliantly, especially if the person is already known for turning the open-plan office into an extension of their home life.
5. A treat or a small cat toy
The perfect gift if you have absolutely no idea what to get but know one thing for certain: this person would probably rather please their cat than themselves. So you’re not really giving them a gift. You’re giving them the chance to give their cat one. It’s simpler, safer, and sometimes more touching than we’d like to admit.
6. A gift that publicly acknowledges the situation
Secret Santa is the perfect setting for a gift that says out loud what the whole office already knows: this person talks about their cat far too much. A small frame, a notepad, a card or a book that puts this fact into words has every chance of landing well, as long as the tone stays funny rather than just mean.
7. Something that immediately triggers a group read
A good Secret Santa gift is also one that gets opened in front of everyone and sparks an instant reaction. That’s why a funny book works so well: it lets you read a passage on the spot, laugh, point at someone, and turn an often awkward gift exchange into something briefly, wonderfully alive.
Conclusion
The best Secret Santa gift for a cat fan isn’t the one that says “you like cats”. Everyone’s already worked that out. It’s the one that says: “you have a disproportionate, possibly unhealthy relationship with your pet, and we’ve all decided to stop pretending we haven’t noticed.”
In that category, What to Do If My Cat Is Gay? is a very solid choice: funny, absurd, easy to give, generous enough to feel like a real gift and pointed enough to feel like a personal dig, making it an excellent Secret Santa pick.
Which, deep down, is probably the loveliest form Christmas spirit can take.
