You’re looking for a gift for someone who loves cats. Not “likes them,” mind you: we’re talking about someone who calls their pet “my son,” wishes them happy birthday on Instagram, and already owns more photos of a ball of fur than of their own family members. Basically, someone potentially beyond saving. Buying a gift for that kind of person is delicate. Get it wrong, and you risk falling into “Cat Mom” mug territory, or embroidered paw-print socks, which is to say the laziest corner of decorative capitalism. You need to aim precisely: something funny, a little absurd, and that genuinely speaks to the mild mental illness that is loving cats a little too much. Here are 5 gift ideas for cat people that genuinely deserve consideration.

1. A Funny Cat Book That Doesn’t Talk Down to People

Let’s start with the obvious: if the person you’re shopping for lives with a cat and has already started projecting political opinions, neuroses, or a sexual orientation onto it, you should stop fighting the problem and just lean into it. That’s exactly why Is My Cat Gay? exists: a survival guide for anyone who suspects their cat might be woke, racist, a total city snob, a player, or a K-pop fan. The concept is simple: take the absurd reflex every cat owner already has (projecting random nonsense onto their pet) and push it to a full-blown catastrophe. It’s a great gift for:

• the person who calls their cat “Baby” with zero irony;
• the friend who’s already told you “I swear, he manipulates me” about a Siamese;
• or anyone who considers living with a cat basically the same as cohabiting with a furry sociopath.

And best of all, it’s a nice break from the cute book about “the secrets of our feline companions,” which always ends up explaining that Fluffy loves cardboard boxes because she feels safe in them. Thanks, we hadn’t guessed.

2. A Custom Portrait of Their Cat

Turning an obese, passive-aggressive cat into Napoleon, the Pope, or a British admiral is always a safe bet. It’s pretentious, wildly disproportionate, and usually pretty ugly. But ask yourself this: what is your loved one actually going to do once that painting is hanging on the wall? Look at it. Every day. For twenty years. Meanwhile, a book like Is My Cat Gay? gives them an actual, detailed, deeply accurate portrait of an animal who is probably an anarchist, a city snob, or addicted to self-help content. Honestly, between a poster gathering dust and a guide accusing a cat of being a communist, the choice is pretty easy.

3. A Cat Personality Analysis

Some companies offer to decode your cat’s personality. They’ll ask for their age, breed, habits, sometimes even their star sign, before informing you that your cat is “curious but independent,” “territorial,” or “emotionally complex.” In other words: you pay $40 for a stranger to tell you that your cat... is a cat. At that price, you might as well get them Is My Cat Gay? At least this one doesn’t pretend to be scientific: it’ll tell you, with total confidence, that your cat is probably Texan, vegan, or a K-pop fan. And weirdly, it’ll sometimes sound more credible.

4. A Cat Mug

A mug can work. As long as it’s dumb enough. Not a “Cat Mom.” Not a “Home Is Where My Cat Is.” That’s the gift aisle at a garden center on a Sunday afternoon. You need something that fully commits to the madness. For example: I work to pay for the kibble of an animal that hates me. Or you skip the dish-shopping step entirely and get them Is My Cat Gay?, which delivers the exact same level of despair, just spread across 180 pages.

5. A Cat-Themed Board Game

This can be a good idea, on one condition: it has to last under twenty minutes. Because after twenty minutes, everyone naturally wants to start talking about their own cat instead. And that’s exactly where your gift becomes useful. After a couple of rounds, someone will inevitably say: “Mine does exactly that.” That’s your cue to pull out Is My Cat Gay? like it’s an actual veterinary manual. “Oh no, that’s clearly a Berliner cat.” Evening saved.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, it doesn’t much matter what you choose. A portrait, a mug, a board game, or an embroidered cushion will all end up in the same place: next to the cat, who will completely ignore them. But if you give Is My Cat Gay?, there’s a good chance your loved one will immediately start comparing their cat to the 100 profiles in the book. For a few hours, they might even forget to show you the 437 photos they took of their pet this week. That’s probably the nicest gift you could give the people around them.