Your cat avoids certain guests, asks strangely insistent questions about people’s backgrounds and seems to have very firm opinions on who deserves a cuddle? An uncomfortable question might be starting to emerge: is your cat… racist? Before you panic or cancel every dinner party, let’s look at the signs that can betray a feline with frankly dubious views — and, more importantly, the solutions to stop them becoming your lounge’s political commentator.

5 signs your cat has some deeply problematic opinions

All cats are a bit odd. But some behaviours should set off alarm bells.

1. They watch certain guests… excessively

Strangely, your cat completely ignores some visitors but suddenly turns into a hyperactive bouncer with others. They track their every move, inspect their bags and stand guard in the hallway with a suspicious glare. Spoiler: nobody has ever come to steal their kibble.

2. They immediately announce: “I’m not racist”

Nobody asked. Yet they insist on pointing out that “their vet is Black” or that they “love food from all over the world”. A strange need to justify themselves for a cat who, in theory, should mostly be thinking about sleeping 17 hours a day.

3. They ask far too insistent questions

Your cat loves a chat… but only to ask: “Where are you really from?” Then, after a perfectly clear answer: “No but… really though?” At this point, it might be time for a little talk.

4. They’ve developed absurd theories about “their home”

Lately, your cat seems very preoccupied with their territory. The problem? They talk about “defending their space” while squatting in a house paid for by someone else and refusing to chip in for rent.

5. They sort their preferences by baffling criteria

One guest gets instant purrs and head-butts. Another gets a cold stare and a theatrical exit to the hallway. When your cat starts running a selective admissions policy, it might be time to step in.

How do you re-educate a racist cat?

Good news: cats can be daft, but they’re rarely a lost cause.

Adopt a different feline companion

A pair of cats with opposite coats can sometimes help your cat rethink their absurd certainties. Black, white, ginger, tabby: in the end, they all fight over exactly the same blanket.

Remind them of their own roots

Before judging others, your cat should probably remember they’re likely not a “pedigree native”. Their ancestors crossed continents, conquered sofas and manipulated humans for centuries. A little humility wouldn’t hurt.

Diversify their circle

Invite friends from all backgrounds. After a few sessions of chin scratches and treat distribution, your cat will quickly understand a universal truth: Fuss has no colour.

Swap their toys for inclusive mice

If they refuse a toy mouse purely because of its colour, it’s time for a serious rethink. Or an appointment with a feline psychologist.

Conclusion: a cat should judge on the right priorities

Letting a cat develop dodgy opinions is a risk. Today, they avoid certain guests. Tomorrow, they might want to separate the kibble by colour or reserve the sofa for “their own kind”. Let’s remember one essential rule: a cat should only ever judge humans on one truly important criterion — their chin-scratching skills. And if you enjoy this kind of absurd situation and completely useless but strangely relevant feline advice, the world of Is My Cat Gay? and its sequels should speak to you.