Your cat spends her days complaining, regularly threatens to speak to the manager and treats the slightest inconvenience as a serious violation of her fundamental rights? You might be dealing with an advanced case of feline Karen syndrome. Before she starts a petition against birdsong or demands the postie get sacked, here are the signs that should worry you.

5 Signs Your Cat Is a Genuine Karen

All cats have their demands. But some turn every single day into a customer service complaint.

1. Her Appearance Has Changed in a Worrying Way

Since her last trip to the groomer, your cat now sports a perfectly geometric haircut and looks permanently ready to lodge a formal complaint. Nobody dares say it out loud. But the whole block is thinking the exact same thing.

2. She Films Every Single Conflict

The smallest disagreement becomes a media event. An employee won't give her a discount? Phone out. Her kibble arrives thirty seconds late? Phone out. She usually captions the videos with something like: "Everyone needs to see this." Nobody really understands why.

3. She's Constantly Monitoring the Neighbourhood

Your cat knows:

• everyone's schedule on the street,
• the numberplates of every visitor,
• the postie's routine,
• and probably the pizza delivery driver's first name.

She spends more time spying on others than sleeping, which honestly goes against every feline instinct.

4. Teenagers Worry Her Way Too Much

According to her, every teenager is:

• badly behaved,
• addicted to screens,
• part of some mysterious gang,
• or personally responsible for the decline of civilisation.

She has zero evidence. But that never stops her having an extremely strong opinion.

5. She's Gone Viral Against Her Will

Recently, your cat yelled at a group of kids quietly playing in a park. Someone filmed it. A few hours later, the video was everywhere. Your cat insists she's the victim of an organised smear campaign. Which doesn't exactly help her image.

How Do You Survive a Karen Cat?

Take heart: there are still a few ways to protect your sanity.

Appoint an Official Manager

Pick any random cushion. Present it as the household's supreme manager. The moment a complaint arises, redirect it to this new contact. The cushion will never respond, but it'll handle conflict surprisingly well.

Channel Her Energy Onto the Internet

Set her up with a social media account. There she can post:

• her daily outrage,
• her doomsday takes,
• her theories on the youth of today,
• and her complaints about noisy birds.

The rest of the internet can take it from there.

Avoid Pointless Confrontations

Logic generally stops working at this stage. If your cat is convinced a kid on a scooter is a national threat, it's better to change the subject. Or show her a video of kittens.

Distract Her with Something Else

Try to redirect her attention with:

• a cardboard box,
• a sunbeam,
• a treat,
• or a bird to watch.

Even the most determined Karens remain susceptible to feline distractions.

Conclusion: Is the Neighbourhood Still Safe?

For months now, nobody dares go about their day normally nearby. The neighbour mows the lawn? Suspicious. A family has a picnic? Very suspicious. A teenager owns a skateboard? Clearly extremely suspicious. As for the local police, they now recognise her number instantly and seem to have developed a technique of just letting it ring out until she gives up. Even so, hold onto hope. Under this mountain of complaints, judgements and threats to speak to the manager is still a cat like any other: affectionate in her own way, deeply attached to her territory, and firmly convinced the world would run much better if everyone simply did exactly what she said. And if you love absurd portraits of cats with impossible personalities, What To Do If My Cat Is Gay? and its sequels deserve pride of place on your bookshelf.