Your dog now refuses any simple definition: one day “Mister Whiskers”, the next a medieval princess, then a bedside lamp until further notice. Here are the signs they’re genderfluid, and how to manage the situation.
The Blog
All our deep dives, hot takes, and reflections on the (complicated) inner life of your pet.
Your dog is snubbing their chicken dinner, sniffing your broccoli with curiosity, and now looks at the local possums as comrades rather than prey? Could your dog be vegan?
Your dog spends their days denouncing capitalism, systemic domination and the symbolic violence of the modern world. Fine so far. The problem is they’re saying all this with a glass of champagne in their paw, from the velvet couch of a patron funding their short film about the suffering of the working class.
You got home from work and thought you’d walked into the wrong house: no TV, no couch, not even your Hulk Hogan collectibles. Your dog had donated everything to the needy of the neighbourhood, almost everything, anyway. Their dog bed, treats and heated blanket were still exactly where they’d always been. It might be time to face the truth: your dog is a socialist.
Your dog can no longer stand being referred to with male pronouns, corrects your phrasing with a look of pure contempt, and considers the very notion of “male dog” or “female dog” an oppressive construct? It might be time to accept the obvious: your dog identifies as non-binary.
Your dog just walked in with a dodgy mullet, scratched sunnies, and a “NO RAGRETS” tattoo that was clearly done in someone’s garage. They’ve smashed a slab of VB, cracked out the barbie at 9am, and now look at your lounge room like the perfect spot to park a ute without a licence. No point denying it: your dog is a bogan.
Your dog refuses non-consensual pats, boycotts possums in the name of social justice and keeps pulling you up on your vocab? It might be time to accept the obvious: your dog is woke. Discover the most telling signs and the best strategies for living with this furry activist.
Before you panic or cancel all your dinner parties, let’s look at the signs that might reveal a dog with some frankly dodgy opinions, and more importantly, the solutions to stop them becoming the lounge room’s resident political pundit.
How do you spot this very particular syndrome in a dog raised in inner-north Melbourne? And more importantly, is there still hope for rehabilitation? An analysis of an increasingly common affliction.
Your dog spends her days complaining, regularly threatens to speak to the manager, and treats the slightest inconvenience as a serious breach of her fundamental rights? You might be dealing with an advanced case of canine Karen syndrome.