All our deep dives, hot takes, and reflections on the (complicated) inner life of your pet.
Your cat can no longer stand being referred to as male, corrects your wording with a look of pure contempt, and now considers the very idea of “tomcat” or “female cat” an oppressive construct? It might be time to accept the obvious: your cat identifies as non-binary.
Your cat just walked in with a dodgy mullet, scratched sunnies and a “NO RAGHRETS” tattoo clearly done in someone’s garage. They’ve smashed a slab of VB, fired up the barbie at 9am and now eye your lounge room like the perfect spot to park a ute without a licence. No point denying it: your cat is a bogan.
An uncomfortable question might be starting to surface: could your cat be… racist? Let’s look at the signs that might expose a cat with some frankly dodgy views, and the solutions to stop them becoming your lounge room’s resident political commentator.
How do you spot this very particular syndrome in a cat raised in the eastern suburbs? And is there still hope for rehabilitation? An analysis of an increasingly common affliction.
Your cat spends her days complaining, regularly threatens to speak to the manager and treats the slightest inconvenience as a serious violation of her fundamental rights? You might be dealing with an advanced case of feline Karen syndrome.
Your dog bangs on about merit while sleeping 18 hours a day, champions success despite never having worked a day in their life, and has suddenly become obsessed with jumpers tied around the shoulders? It might be time to consider a delicate hypothesis: your dog is right-wing.
Is your dog now demanding the status of “independent canine contractor”? They might be left-wing. Let’s examine the most common symptoms of this canine radicalisation.
It might be time to accept the obvious: your dog is a lesbian. Before you set up another disastrous date with the neighbour’s dog, let’s examine the clues that might confirm your suspicions.
Your dog now calls you “comrade”? Before they collectivise your couch, or turn your flat into a canine people’s republic, here are the signs that should tip you off.
Your dog believes all forms of authority are illegitimate, flatly refuses house rules, and seems to see every piece of furniture as an opportunity for rebellion? Your pup might have gone anarchist.