Your dog turns his nose up at chicken pâté, sniffs your broccoli with curiosity, and now looks at the neighbourhood squirrels as comrades rather than prey. Could your dog be vegan?
The Blog
All our investigations, hot takes and reflections on the complicated inner life of your pet.
Your dog spends his days denouncing capitalism, systemic domination and the symbolic violence of the modern world. Fine, so far. The problem is he delivers this speech with a glass of champagne in his paw, from the velvet sofa of a patron funding his short film about the suffering of the working class.
You came home from work and thought you’d walked into the wrong house: no telly, no sofa, not even your Hulk Hogan memorabilia. Your dog had donated everything to the neighbourhood’s needy, almost everything, anyway. Their dog bed, treats and heated blanket were still exactly where they’d always been. It may be time to face the truth: your dog is a socialist.
Your dog can no longer stand being referred to as male, corrects your wording with a look of pure contempt, and treats the very notion of “dog” or “bitch” as an oppressive construct? It might be time to accept the obvious: your dog identifies as non-binary.
Your dog refuses non-consensual cuddles, boycotts squirrels in the name of social justice, and questions your vocabulary? It might be time to accept the obvious: your dog is woke. Discover the most telling signs and the best strategies for cohabiting with this four-legged activist.
Before you panic or cancel every dinner party, let’s look at the signs that might reveal a dog with frankly dubious views, and above all, the solutions to stop him becoming your lounge’s resident political pundit.
How do you spot this very particular syndrome in a dog raised in Zone 1? And more importantly, is there still hope of rehabilitation? An analysis of an increasingly common affliction.
Your dog spends her days complaining, regularly threatens to speak to the manager, and considers the slightest inconvenience a serious breach of her fundamental rights? You might be dealing with an advanced case of canine Karen syndrome.